Monday, December 21, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
I'd like to punch Bill Ingvall in the tooth!
Tonight I went to the Albuquerque Young Professionals Christmas event. Yeah I'm a young professional you can stop laughing now. In fact, I found out tonight, I am young enough to be a young professional for another 5 years. WEEHOO! The Christmas Event was held at the Lucky 66 bowling alley. Which when I think of young professionals I think ... bowling alley. There is nothing like the faces of all the Bukowski's sitting at the bar when a bunch of young people in sport jackets and pant suits invade their territory. It's like walking into church wearing a Chippendale's outfit.
I also found out tonight why I haven't bowled since high school. First of all the balls are designed for either lumberjacks with ridiculously large hands or little children. I was forced to use a ball that I could fit two fingers in each of the holes and the thumb was so far away from the finger holes that mine could just barely grip the edge. Let me preface this next part with, I'm a fairly big guy and when I get moving I have, what scientists call, momentum. When coupled with smooth soled shoes and a greased up wood surface, trying to hurl a 16lb rock that I can't hang on to, bowling becomes more about not falling down than actually hitting the pins. This, my friends, is frustrating because I've always been good enough at most sports (skiing would be an exception and I can now add bowling to that list)that I never really embarrassed myself.
New Years resolution: I will not bowl until I am one of the Bukowski's sitting at the Lucky 66 bowling alley. That is a resolution I can keep.
Despite getting beat by the little french girl who had never bowled in her life, I had a good time because the company was good and the food was much better than expected. Who knew you could get good scallops and calamari in the middle of New Mexico? I'm sure they were actually rocky mountain oysters and spiders but it's good to pretend sometimes. It keeps you young ... and professional.
Okay time to sleep.
Oh yeah, Bill Ingvall drives me nuts and I want to punch him in the tooth! Does Serius radio really have to play him every 5 minutes?
I also found out tonight why I haven't bowled since high school. First of all the balls are designed for either lumberjacks with ridiculously large hands or little children. I was forced to use a ball that I could fit two fingers in each of the holes and the thumb was so far away from the finger holes that mine could just barely grip the edge. Let me preface this next part with, I'm a fairly big guy and when I get moving I have, what scientists call, momentum. When coupled with smooth soled shoes and a greased up wood surface, trying to hurl a 16lb rock that I can't hang on to, bowling becomes more about not falling down than actually hitting the pins. This, my friends, is frustrating because I've always been good enough at most sports (skiing would be an exception and I can now add bowling to that list)that I never really embarrassed myself.
New Years resolution: I will not bowl until I am one of the Bukowski's sitting at the Lucky 66 bowling alley. That is a resolution I can keep.
Despite getting beat by the little french girl who had never bowled in her life, I had a good time because the company was good and the food was much better than expected. Who knew you could get good scallops and calamari in the middle of New Mexico? I'm sure they were actually rocky mountain oysters and spiders but it's good to pretend sometimes. It keeps you young ... and professional.
Okay time to sleep.
Oh yeah, Bill Ingvall drives me nuts and I want to punch him in the tooth! Does Serius radio really have to play him every 5 minutes?
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Well, Here I am! How do you like me so far?
I've considered myself many things and a writer is not on that list but I thought this might be a good way to combat insomnia. If I can literally bore myself to sleep with my stories maybe I can help you fall asleep too. It's a win-win as they say even though I have no idea who "they" really is.
So anyway, Like my "about me" section describes, I am a 35 year old guy and this blog is essentially my journal. My hope is that this journal will force me see the interesting things about life that happen every day but maybe I don't notice.
I guess I should clarify the name of the blog. One of my employees found a can of government supplied pork (in juices) and planted it in one of the work trucks so that I would find it. When I found it I had no idea what to think I just knew that the idea of gubm't pork was pretty funny. This can of pork has become our company mascot. it stays in the truck and travels to every job with us. When we take a picture of a completed project the can of gubm't pork is in the picture.
I have a dog. He poops in the tub (I'll get to that in a bit) and he is my best buddy. He does just about everything with me. He goes to work, he sleeps on the floor next to my bed and he sings along when I play the harmonica. His name is Hogan after Ben Hogan not Hulk. He is 1/2 hound 1/4 red heeler and 1/4 pitbull and 100% goofy. He is a little over a year old and has lived through Parvo, a rattlesnake bite and 4 days in the wilderness with one other dog when he was 5 months old. I wish he could talk and tell that story. I'm sure it would be pretty exciting. As I said he poops in the tub. Not always only when his neglectful owner doesn't realize he needs to go outside. I don't know where he learned that this would be the most appropriate place to do his business. He's seen me poop in the toilet but I try not to drink so much that I poop in the tub. All I can say is that I'm proud of him. I bet your dog doesn't have that kind of presence of mind. Yes I'm saying my dog IS better than your dog. Get over it! Okay maybe he 's not better. At least he wasn't today.
Today we made a trip to Petco because he came to work with me and stayed in the truck like a good dog and didn't complain once. I felt he was well deserving of a treat. About $30 later I was not feeling the same. Hogan has started to figure out how to mark his territory and he found a few toys he thought should be his, proceeded to lift his leg and give them a quick squirt! I was mortified but the elderly lady in the isle with us thought it was the funniest thing she'd ever seen. She said she was going to suggest a different toy but he had obviously made up his own mind and did not care to listen to her advice. Because I thought we were just popping in for a quick treat and not going on a shopping spree I didn't need a cart. So I got to pick up the toys and carry them to the counter. I was not looking forward to the explanation I was going to have to give to the cashier. Fortunately, I think, the cashier didn't seem to notice at all while he handled the pee soaked doggy toys. How does that happen? I guess what I'm trying to say is you really aren't having a bad day until you are cleaning dog pee off of toys in a convenience store bathroom!
So anyway, Like my "about me" section describes, I am a 35 year old guy and this blog is essentially my journal. My hope is that this journal will force me see the interesting things about life that happen every day but maybe I don't notice.
I guess I should clarify the name of the blog. One of my employees found a can of government supplied pork (in juices) and planted it in one of the work trucks so that I would find it. When I found it I had no idea what to think I just knew that the idea of gubm't pork was pretty funny. This can of pork has become our company mascot. it stays in the truck and travels to every job with us. When we take a picture of a completed project the can of gubm't pork is in the picture.
I have a dog. He poops in the tub (I'll get to that in a bit) and he is my best buddy. He does just about everything with me. He goes to work, he sleeps on the floor next to my bed and he sings along when I play the harmonica. His name is Hogan after Ben Hogan not Hulk. He is 1/2 hound 1/4 red heeler and 1/4 pitbull and 100% goofy. He is a little over a year old and has lived through Parvo, a rattlesnake bite and 4 days in the wilderness with one other dog when he was 5 months old. I wish he could talk and tell that story. I'm sure it would be pretty exciting. As I said he poops in the tub. Not always only when his neglectful owner doesn't realize he needs to go outside. I don't know where he learned that this would be the most appropriate place to do his business. He's seen me poop in the toilet but I try not to drink so much that I poop in the tub. All I can say is that I'm proud of him. I bet your dog doesn't have that kind of presence of mind. Yes I'm saying my dog IS better than your dog. Get over it! Okay maybe he 's not better. At least he wasn't today.
Today we made a trip to Petco because he came to work with me and stayed in the truck like a good dog and didn't complain once. I felt he was well deserving of a treat. About $30 later I was not feeling the same. Hogan has started to figure out how to mark his territory and he found a few toys he thought should be his, proceeded to lift his leg and give them a quick squirt! I was mortified but the elderly lady in the isle with us thought it was the funniest thing she'd ever seen. She said she was going to suggest a different toy but he had obviously made up his own mind and did not care to listen to her advice. Because I thought we were just popping in for a quick treat and not going on a shopping spree I didn't need a cart. So I got to pick up the toys and carry them to the counter. I was not looking forward to the explanation I was going to have to give to the cashier. Fortunately, I think, the cashier didn't seem to notice at all while he handled the pee soaked doggy toys. How does that happen? I guess what I'm trying to say is you really aren't having a bad day until you are cleaning dog pee off of toys in a convenience store bathroom!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
