Good Evening Freinds, Romans, Countrymen

Disclaimer: Don't ask about the title of this blog. It is simply rubbish and of no meaning to you or anyone else, myself included. Unless of course you are a Shakespeare buff and if that is the case I'm sure you will find this blog horribly disappointing. The dialogue is deplorable!

If tonight were Halloween I would be going, wherever it was I would be going, as an Irish writer like James Joyce or Roblert McLaim Wilson or one of the others. I'm drinking Bushmills. Not the whole bottle mind you, just a quarter or so and for some unknown reason I'm feeling a great deal of guilt and ire toward England although, I feel, the BBC has some really great programs on the telly.

This, as you can see from the time and date stamped on the blog, is New Years day 2010. (we always have a whole year to prepare and it still feels odd to write the new year.) Today I am celebrating like the rest of you celebrated last night because last night I was snowed in. I didn't think that happened in this day an age. Global warming and such. I guess that is what I get for living at the end of a 6 mile dirt road at almost 7000' elevation. Idiot!

Now, I tried to go out last night. I was invited to a party but on my way out I found myself stuck in a snow bank. Woohoo! (If you can't sense the sarcasm you should probably move on.) That usually has a tendency to put a bit of a damper on any evening, New Years or not. I tried calling both of my neighbors. Yes I only have two. Of course due to the fact that it was New Years Eve, they were not home! YAY! (again sarcasm) I got to spend the next 45 minutes digging myself out of this snow bank with my bare hands in a pair of Kenneth Cole burgundy shoes and a sport jacket. The issue about the shoes hadn't really occurred to me until, of course, I couldn't feel my toes! Finally, after a lot of rocking the vehicle back and forth, a few tears, prayers and spinning tires to the point that the foot of snow underneath had completely melted, the tires took hold of the glorious earth and the vehicle jolted out of the rut I was in (literally and figuratively) and I was back on the road. At this point, because I had not been to a party yet and had a drink, common sense kicked in and I decided that the best place for me would be home. I headed back to the house which was about 3 miles back up the dirt, snow infested (yes, at this point the snow, to me, felt like and infestation of some horrendous parasite.) pathway to loneliness and boredom!

Safely, I arrived back at the house to the excited tail of my dog, Hogan, in the door window. Talk about unconditional love. I should probably note that the time at this point was about 7PM. What to do?

The original plan was to eat something quickly on the road. That of course was out of the question so I b-lined it to the pantry. mmmm microwave mac and cheese, which should really be called what people say when they eat it, uuuuck. I decided on PB&J. You can never go wrong with PB&J unless of course the bread had contracted mold. Now, I'm not a slob and my house is pretty clean. This must have been a super mold because I ate toast out of that same loaf earlier that morning, mold free. At least I believe it was mold free. Usually when it comes to food I act first and ask questions later. Unless of course it is tomatoes. God? Why did you have to make tomatoes? Okay so I digress. I settled on a tortilla with cheese melted in the microwave. Down here in New Mexico they call that a "quesadilla". Me, I call it "you're poor, drunk or 6 years old".

On the couch with my "you're poor, dunk or 6 years old" and a ginger ale I decided I would watch the season 7 of 24. For those of you who have been living in a cave or don't believe in television, 24 is a show about a man named Jack Bauer who breaks every law, within the Geneva convention, to stop terrorist plots within a 24 hour period. I know what you are thinking, realistic. Not so much, as it turns out, but very entertaining. After about 3 episodes I found I had a hard time keeping my eyes open. How could this be with all this action? I forgot what day it was and decided bed was the best option. I took it! I had a feeling door number 2 was bleak an tiring.

Yes everyone I went to bed at 10PM on New Years Eve. I didn't even bother to watch the ball drop on TV. Just so you know, I slept well, until about 5:30 this morning when I was waken (is that even a word? It looks really odd.) abruptly by Hogan, who was very upset, come to find out, because he didn't get a stinking kiss and champagne at midnight. And all I thought he cared about was a full dish and chew toys! Oh well, I think I'll go have some "uuuuck" and strongly dislike myself.